Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
