I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
