If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
