He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm like, not good at living.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
