it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
