im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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