That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
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Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test