so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
