between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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