i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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