I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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