If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
