So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
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