plz talk dirty to me
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
