I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
