that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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