sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.