Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Odds of those being real?

  (614): View more from Ohio

  One in who gives a fuck

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  (202): Odds of those being real? (614): One in who gives a fuck http://tfl.nu/agkd
  Replies (91) Good night (4948) Bad night (645)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.

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  (702): the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral. http://tfl.nu/20j6
  Replies (7) Good night (738) Bad night (6573)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.

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  (954): Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song. http://tfl.nu/556m
  Replies (16) Good night (4148) Bad night (1163)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.

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  (501): He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice. http://tfl.nu/qyuj
  Replies (7) Good night (6042) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.

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  (609): This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/9axz
  Replies (30) Good night (7215) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy

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  (214): dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy http://tfl.nu/o6xr
  Replies (14) Good night (1235) Bad night (2921)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  You coming home soon, man?

  (1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  HENBARSCLOSE

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  (902): You coming home soon, man? (1-902): HENBARSCLOSE http://tfl.nu/z787
  Replies (7) Good night (4019) Bad night (812)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  ..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"

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  (206): ..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance" http://tfl.nu/51ez
  Replies (10) Good night (3126) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me

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  (513): Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me http://tfl.nu/vfre
  Replies (13) Good night (3342) Bad night (1712)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.

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  (251): Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf. http://tfl.nu/98oh
  Replies (6) Good night (645) Bad night (2079)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"

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  (+27): Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!" http://tfl.nu/eeqt
  Replies (15) Good night (4032) Bad night (829)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis

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  (512): Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis http://tfl.nu/fz62
  Replies (6) Good night (2193) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage

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  (716): You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage http://tfl.nu/tfgj
  Replies (3) Good night (521) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?

  (319): View more from Iowa

  will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?

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  (612): So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me? (319): will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls? http://tfl.nu/9asz
  Replies (3) Good night (374) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card

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  (951): I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card http://tfl.nu/akau
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (318)

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