I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave