I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
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He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me