a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.