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• (302): View more from Delaware

  remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (914): View more from New York

  Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back

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• (714): View more from California

  I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.

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• (516): View more from New York

  I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.

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• (509): View more from Washington

  you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to

  (702): View more from Nevada

  It's true

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• (760): View more from California

  he just fucked me for my cheese.

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