Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step

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  (781): I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step http://tfl.nu/hwjf
  Replies (24) Good night (3445) Bad night (632)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  yes! wait why?

  (240): View more from Maryland

  because i found it in my pocket this morning...

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  (240): were you wearing a green and blue thong last night? (301): yes! wait why? (240): because i found it in my pocket this morning... http://tfl.nu/rs9c
  Replies (39) Good night (11493) Bad night (904)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.

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  (410): As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned. http://tfl.nu/df4g
  Replies (19) Good night (6017) Bad night (1019)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.

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  (970): I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower. http://tfl.nu/95p5
  Replies (8) Good night (3269) Bad night (1197)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?

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  (248): Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain? http://tfl.nu/gohm
  Replies (10) Good night (2590) Bad night (1139)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.

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  (914): Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls. http://tfl.nu/u1ub
  Replies (5) Good night (3127) Bad night (666)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.

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  (917): She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs. http://tfl.nu/167e
  Replies (5) Good night (838) Bad night (2060)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??

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  (701): She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that?? http://tfl.nu/2mxl
  Replies (9) Good night (1740) Bad night (816)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  i can't, we're worse now

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  (519): please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen (1-519): i can't, we're worse now http://tfl.nu/v8g3
  Replies (12) Good night (1491) Bad night (729)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.

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  (205): Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict. http://tfl.nu/g96l
  Replies (3) Good night (419) Bad night (1108)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?

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  (203): We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate? http://tfl.nu/bazj
  Replies (10) Good night (655) Bad night (423)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.

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  (807): We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely. http://tfl.nu/t6rq
  Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (1030)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.

  (904): View more from Florida

  Which I appreciated.

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  (904): He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me. (904): Which I appreciated. http://tfl.nu/2yf2
  Replies (1) Good night (577) Bad night (288)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.

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  (724): Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat. http://tfl.nu/36ue
  Replies (1) Good night (284) Bad night (391)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants

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  (256): I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants http://tfl.nu/j7tx
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (267)

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