i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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