at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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