It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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