SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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