it was like his penis was on wheels.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
