i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
