i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
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