whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
