He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
