We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
