Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
They took my balls.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
