Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize