I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
