Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm way too hungover for life right now
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
