Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
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If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
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its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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