So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
