Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
