just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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