I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
