Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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