Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm too high and old for this...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
