Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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