This girl is more easily done than said...
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
