I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize