What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
