i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
