Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
