Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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