I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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