I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
why is half of my head shaved?
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