That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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