I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
