just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
