there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
