dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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