what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
