I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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