A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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